Into the Abyss
Can’t believe it’s turned into this
I try time and time again
And I can’t help but wonder when
So many attempts with no reward
Left with ache and sting and floored
Thankful for the wisdom and the lessons
But shouldn’t there be more?
A day when smiles aren’t so hard to grasp
When love flows freely from my internal flask
Unconditional seems impossible
No one could ever reciprocate
It seems that we aren’t on the same page
I love too much or they love too much
It’s obvious right away
I’m thankful that it appears quickly
So as not to waste another day
Wasted time and emotion is all I have so far
Where can I find happiness and love?
Everyone thinks they know but are equally as clueless
Turning this round and round in my head is pointless.

The Boy That Murdered Love

I’m so tired of me, tired of you.

Reality sucks, I know I do, too.
I’d hoped that one day this would all go away,
but I can’t seem to change, I don’t think it’s okay.
My outlook holds me back, my attitude impedes.
I try to plant smiles and goals and hope, among other seeds.
They don’t seem to flourish, they don’t seem to grow.
I’ve always been like this, I try to put on a show.
I must be a better actress than I’d ever have guessed.
I can be positive and charming and merry, with the best.
But I’m an onion, with so many layers and skins.
Below the facade is is a frown, a hundred sins.
You reap what you sow, happiness comes with age.
I’m waiting for this to fade, but I can’t turn the page.
Redundant cycles, uphill battles and internal strife.
I can’t seem to find friends and I’d be a terrible wife.
Alone and unhappy is what my fortune cookie reads.
The moroseness has roots and grows as quickly as weeds.
Apples and oranges are one in the same to me.
Just like disappointment and life go together, you see.
Freedom from negativity, Tears that don’t come.
I dream of this day, when my sadness is done.
It will come from within they say, it’s all up to me.
I don’t think it’s possible, says my victim mentality.
Dreams of giving up spray my mind, and stick like glue.
Only one reason to stay, all because of you.
I hope I can teach you to overcome and to prosper; I smile at the thought of you.
You deserve so much more than this, I wish I wasn’t always so down and so blue.
Thank you for the lone smile that graced my face today.
May you be blessed, and nothing but love, come your way.